Thursday, April 23, 2009

Holy Crap Batman! A post that no one will read!


It was just another uneventful day in the office. Nothing special: I had just finished our semi-annual physical test, managing to overdo it in my shoes (I really, really, really need custom made inserts for my feets), the other guys were trying to fight of the unstoppable force of malaise and the A/C was actually a lie since the heater was blasting in a chilly 26 degrees (C).

Then I received a large envelope from Valparaiso University School of Law. It was larger than most rejection letters and I wondered what new correspondence the school was sending me now that I was on the purgatory of the Wait List. Was it possible that they would send me information that I was not selected for the newest opening at the school.

A bit harsh don't you think?

So I opened the envelope, saw a pieces of paper and a glossy view book inside and figured it was a reminder about being on the Wait List and the view book was to sell a school I had already submitted an application and an acceptance to join the elite of the "Not Quite Good Enough This Time Around" of the Wait List. In other words, I was slightly confused at this not-so-green use of paper.

So instead of maintaining my healthy dose of pessimism to lead to tossing it in the front drawer of my desk filled with rejection letters from other law schools, I pulled out the paper and read the following:

Dear Anthony,

We are writing to inform you that we are offering you a position in the Fall 2009 incoming class...

I paused. Was this a joke or was this real? I was already accustomed to failing miserably with my attempt to gain admissions into a Law School that I had already accepted the fact that I was probably not going to gain admission to any school and that I would need to find a job to allow me to survive in the post-Navy life. Part of me had embraced this new plan of working after the Navy, I already plotted a course to work my way into the field of Paleontology or Marine Biology. It was more of a blastosphere than a complete organism, but at least it was a start to Plan B, C, D all the way through ZZX (ZZY was trying to become a USNR Canvassing Recruiter and plan ZZZ was to request to pull my RAD and sign up to sell at least 3 years of my life back to the Navy and flail for three years as an afloat DH.) dealt with some form or another of that basic idea.

Now the one item arrived that all but confirmed the conclusion of my illustrious Naval career.

I'm pretty excited about all of this: for a moment I figured that my two years of sophomoric stupidity would come to roost without mercy. Well, that and my so-so showing on the LSAT. I really should have answered that last question with: "We are given two options for these individuals to include their own basic desires in retirement, yet, both arguments for these options are based on scanty evidence that does not allow for a strong argument. I will go into why neither will appeal to these individuals unless further evidence is provided to give greater detail in order to build a strong argument for or against either option."

Well, that could have also backfired.

That's about it. Hopefully all zero people who read this blog were able to...yeah. Leave a comment if you managed to stumble upon this fine piece of mediocre-ish prose.



Oh just in case the current tally is 1-19-1. Looks like the Cubs record in the 1990s! Ha!

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Miscellaneous photos....

Miscellaneous photos...


                 崇福寺 (長崎市)           
                 平和公園 (長崎市)

                 眼鏡(めがね)橋 (長崎市)

Took Hah-vahd long enough to send my rejection...e-mail?

I opened my google email to see what new interesting spam or phising attempts awaited in my inbox or spam box to discover that Hah-vahd (Harvard) Law sent me my rejection e-mail.

I thought...e-mail? What? No letter? I guess enough people pinned rejection letters on their walls to fuel their desire to gain revenge against Hah-vahd that Hah-vahd decided to stop sending letters...or it's a more green way to disappoint people. I like to think it is because it is a greener method. I really do.

Needles to say, I really had no delusions that I would somehow sneak into the incoming class for the fall semester of 2009. My spectacular showing as an undergraduate and average showing during the LSAT all but confirmed my rejection. What really surprised me was that it took them this long to send it to me. My other hopeful half court shot, Yale sent me one within a month of receiving my package. Actually, maybe they [law school applications] all were half court heaves...

But Hah-vahd took almost four months to decide that I was not the caliber of person they wanted at their university.

But can you blame them? My GPA and LSAT score would have dragged down their spectacular averages. Zeus or Odin forbid that I taint the pristine 3.6 GPA and 160 LSAT minimums for these schools! Well, again, they do need to grease the alumni to get donations, so again, I don't cut it...based on my performance...where does the blame lie? Me.

I don't think that my life will be effected too much, seeing that I'm shooting a huge oh-fer-everything in this attempt to go to law school. The only positives are letters informing that I am now part of the elite of the not-quite-so-good-enough-to-get-in, on the wait list for Indiana University and Valpo. I'm not going to hold my breath; seeing that this would entail enough people to choose not to go to either of those schools to open up a position for X number of people to be thrown into competition for X spots...and the X number of people always outnumber the X amount of spots.

It's not that I'm not used to screwing up. Failing 3 OOD boards, 2 SWO boards and screwing up in general as I have in the past 10 years since I left high school should at least teach me that. Wait, failing is the word. I might have been way off using 10% as my estimated success rate. Maybe 1% or even more daringly, 5% would be more appropriate.

But...all of those failures and screw ups etc led to some pretty interesting adventures and experiences. If I didn't screw up in college, I would have never gone to my first ship (that I went to) and met Mr. Hotdog, Wee-Man, Mr. Pear, MoNgO, and the other characters from the G.E. Electric Oven (all names property of Mr. Brent Gregory Meyers)...and I would have never ended up in Japan and meandered into the adventures and experiences here etc etc. So I'm proud of my 2.86 GPA!

Actually, it is pretty humorous and I try to make a game out of it. "Who is going to reject me this time?" "Man, I haven't received a single rejection letter yet this week, what gives?" I really have nothing mean to say to any of the schools, knowing that I am at best (just looking at GPA and LSAT) a marginal candidate, except for Wisconsin, but the bones that I pick with that university are based on a litany of other reasons.

And no, its not that Brett Beliema loses games, that's life (does anyone really expect Wisconsin to win a national championship?), but its that the University pays him 1.6M USD a year to coach football...sorta knocks the wind out of sails in the argument for Wisconsin being a legitimate academic institution...that and the less than 60% graduation rate for the football team. How the hell can I have pride in that? For 1.6M it should be at least 90%.

I won't even start on the bronze immortalization of Barry Alvarez. Before that was raised, I think the only statue on campus was that of Abe know, the guy who ended slavery, started the first moves towards civil rights, reunited the United know, things not as important as winning three Rose Bowls and having a son microwave a parrot.

Holy Crap! Jay Cutler!

I woke up this morning (morning here in Japan, and around 6 AM JST~ish) to find out the Bears traded for Jay Cutler. Now, living overseas, I don't follow the NFL all too much since there are tons of other interesting things to do (get drunk at an izakaiya, get drunk during 花見, get drunk at a 横浜ベイスターズの野球 game, get drunk at the Beer Museum at 恵比寿 and etc etc...I kid, I kid) in Japan. Actually, the only reason I know anything about the NFL since 2005 is that the bulk of the games are played on TV (AFN mind you) between 3 and 11 AM JST.

Mind you, I don't love the NFL (or my hometown Bears) that much to wake up at 3 AM to watch a football game. If I were to wake up at 3 AM, it would be to throw my surf rack on my roof, strap on my longboard, pack up my mini shower, wet suit, booties, rash guard, surf wax, sun block and flip flops and to drive somewhere in Shonan to find decent waves...not to watch American football. To be honest, Futball, soccer, whatever you call it is much more interesting to me..and is the only organized sport that I can and actually enjoy playing (on defense...I don't have the speed or stamina to be a striker or a back) and watching.

Back on track, to the Bears' acquisition of Jay Cutler. The name sounded familiar and everyone seemed pretty excited (my friends from my old region who reside via Facebook) about this news. I figured to join in on the excitement out of the inner homer in me, wanting to support my local team before the moment passed and I began questioning the validity of paying athletes millions of dollars to play a silly game while people who actually contribute to society (not your typical cluebird musicians, not your typical cluebird actors/actresses, not your typical cluebird celebrities. Cluebird=one who has no real experience or knowledge of what they are speaking about. For example, I would be a cluebird if I were to write about how to defend against the Cover-2 defense or to talk about the stresses of making films, as I have no experience and no knowledge of such subjects) make what they throw at strippers and/or hookers on a nightly basis.
Okay, not all pro athletes throw money at strippers or hookers, but you get the point.

But for that matter, I seriously doubt god, if it truly exists or cares, would really waste its omnipotent or just simple power to help some human score a touchdown, when said powers could be used to clear up some serious issues such as famine, poverty, nuclear armament, fundamentalist extremism (of all faiths) et al.

Seriously, if god does exist as many have tried to lead me to believe, creating universes, creating quarks and spin particles and gas giants and galaxies and matter and time and space; to modify the thoughts of the great Carl Sagan: why the hell would it give a damn about some insignificant human on an insignificant blue rock orbiting a nondescript star on the outer edge of a relatively new galaxy?

I guess it works out this way.
But back to Jay Cutler.

So, I opened my web browser, typed in Jay Cutler in Google and I discovered this tidbit about Jay Cutler:

He's a 2-time Mr. Olympia! That has to mean something, because the Governator was a 7 time Mr. that means he's pretty ripped. That should stand for something since that might be an intimidation factor for the Bears offense.

Do you really want to screw with this guy? Seriously? Looks like he could put the lights out on Shawn Merriman...and he's clean! He has to be clean, since PED's are illegal in professional bodybuilding, or he would have never made it this far in his sport. Shawn Merriman though, after having to stop using steroids has completely fallen off the earth. I guess we know his source of aggression...

I'm not so sure that he'll head out in the field wearing a helmet and the speedo get-up, but somehow I'm sure the Bears will manage to modify his uniform and pads to emphasize his physique to scare the hell out of the opposition.

And if anyone has any questions, just imagine the Packers defense crapping their pants when Jay gets tired of their shit and flexes to show them that they really, really want no part of this.

Jay Cutler reminding the NFC North that he isn't going to
take their shit anymore by flexing his massive lats.
I'm still trying to figure out how Jay Cutler, who was a professional bodybuilder was originally acquired by the Denver Broncos and subsequently traded to the Chicago Bears for Kyle Orton and a couple of draft picks. But it looks like a win-win situation--the Broncos get a guy with a great neck beard that should fit in with the locals in Denver and they can manage to do something with the draft picks. I don't know what, but hey, we got a two-time Mr. Olympia!

But if the Bears really want to improve their chances of winning a Super Bowl before Jay Cutler retires (he's 35, so that might not be too far down the road), they should hire Pavel Tsatsouline as their strength coach, because he can probably de-wimpify Brian Urlacher from the guy who wont and can't shed a blocker to a machine that will break the blocker into to pieces and then juggle a couple of 2-pood kettlebells afterwards to ham it up for the crowd.

But then the NFL would ban Pavel and Russian Kettlebells from the NFL as they give an unfair performance edge over other teams. Or they could just get rid of the pointless 225 lb bench press test, 40 yard dash test, high jump test (mind you, in shorts, running shoes and all of that nifty sweat wicking technology from Under WE MUST PRO-TECT THIS HOUSSSSSSEEEEEE Armor) and use only kettlebell activities to prove manliness.

But hey, catching a football, running away from people who want to hurt you or going out of your way to hurt someone else as hard as you can is still very impressive to me. Almost as impressive as catching a huge wave at Cortez Banks.

Oh wait, being able to surf huge waves off Cortez Banks is much more impressive than anything any football player can do on the gridiron.
What's that? Oh, there's another Jay Cutler? And he's from Northern Kentucky? (definition: anywhere south of Lake County, but just before you get to Lowell in the state of Indiana.) Haven't the Bears learned their lessons about quarterbacks from Northern Kentucky? (See Grossman, Rex for further clarification)
I was really hoping to have a 2-time Mr. Olympia kicking some ass for the Chicago Bears, but I can always hold out for the Pavel hire...